Bill Cosby. Just reading the name made you feel some type of way, didn’t it?

Recently, the comedian troubled man, 79, faced three charges of aggravated indecent assault, but jurors could not come to a unanimous verdict on any of the three counts.

“They were legally written with a lot of different words than what was said out in the courtroom, and it caused the jurors to keep going back to the judge looking where these words were like “reckless” and “unconscious” and “severely impaired” and “unreasonable doubt.” Now we had out there reasonable doubt, but not unreasonable doubt. What is unreasonable doubt? We spent a lot of time trying to figure these words out that were in these charges, which made them so much more severe than what all the testimony, or I heard closing arguments was. We never heard those words, and that’s where the problem was.”

Editor’s Note: The jurors responsible for a sexual assault case were unsure what the words “reckless” and “unconscious” meant.

“‘Reckless’ was one word that we spent a whole day on trying to figure out whether he was reckless going upstairs and getting pills,” the juror said. “Just, you couldn’t convict him on the wording of the charges. And that’s where we argued back and forth. What meant one thing to one person and something to another, and after they slept on it they changed their minds.”

Editor’s Note:

1. Yes, He was reckless

2. PLEASE accept your jury duty when you are summoned

3. Let’s review. A jury member thought one way about Bill Cosby, fell asleep, and woke up feeling a DIFFERENT way about Bill Cosby. Let that sink in.

While leaving the courtroom, a reporter asked Cosby how he felt about about the court proceedings, to which he replied “Hey, hey, hey” mimicking the voice of his beloved Fat Albert character.

“It’s questionable that she asked for help from Mr. Cosby and she shows up wearing a bare midriff and she has incense with her and bath salts with her, and no matter who gave her the bath salts, that’s questionable,” he said

Editor’s Note: A woman was wearing what 85% of all people wear when its hot, so she deserved to be drugged? Also, it does matter “who” gave her bath salts, thats what the case is about.

Bill Cosby’s spokespeople said he will deliver educational talks teaching young people how to behave to avoid sexual assault allegations, leading to harsh criticism from a number of victims’ advocacy groups.

Editor’s Note:Once again, Bill Cosby is hell bent on engaging in an activity consented on only by people named Bill Cosby. The only thing that would make this idea more atrocious would be deciding to call the tour “If I did it”

Washington DC native Dave Chappelle, recently replaced Bill Cosby on the wall at Ben’s Chili Bowl

Andrew Wyatt, a  spokesperson for Pill Bill broke the news to reporters recently, and was asked, with no pun intended to his last name, why? His reply, “Cosby wants to get back to work.” And the nation collectively was made aware of the only 7 words worse than “Trump wants to make America great again”

“I do feel that right now as I speak to you, I want to get back to the laughter and enjoyment of things that I’ve written and things that I perform on stage,” he said. “I want to take other things and move it to halls, churches, etc. to give what I feel will be motivational and informational, and drive people to make changes in themselves, the home life, because the one quote that I sustained is ‘The revolution is in the home.'”


Amidst all the rhetoric, one thing Cosby has never said is “I have never raped these women.”


In the words of the brilliant Shonda Rhimes, the only lesson to be learned from these town hall meetings on avoiding being accused of sexual assault is to simply “not sexually assault anyone.” Furthermore, do not go on tour, the attention belongs to the victims.”

Now, that we all agree that Bill Cosby is a crazy person. My purpose here is not to beat a dead rapist. But for all of us, to be further aware of the nuance and the many layers that these unfortunate travesties have rippled through African-American communities, and beyond. This isn’t as simple as it may seem.

Dave Chappelle, in his recent comedy special, laid it out perfectly. He used a parable to liken Bill to a superhero who can only save people if he commits sexual assault. Crass, but spot on. For many Black families, who suffered from the crack epidemic, who are victims of gun violence, and had fathers removed after the Vietnam War that left many Black men addicted, broken, or diseased with PTSD, Dr. Heathcliffe Huxtable was the only father they knew. Did you know there are no cocaine plants, gun factories, or anti-Vietnamese sentiments grown in the hood? These are all things brought in to affect people trying to survive, not getting hastled, not getting hustled, keeping your head above water, making a way when you can. Temporary layoffs, Easy credit rip-offs, hangin in a chow line, you know? Good times. So, we look for heroes in entertainment.

In the 80’s the Cosby Show was the house we wanted to live in. Two parents, one a doctor, one a lawyer. Food always on the table. A station wagon, 4 bedrooms, and a goldfish. Every Thursday night at 8;00, that brownstone in Brooklyn was ours as well. To many young Black men and women, Dr. Heathcliffe Huxtable was our dad, and to the fullest extent, we defend our own, whether its in the barber shop, or in the comments section. Some of your fathers and uncles are police officers, and when there’s a shooting you say “but not my dad” but silence, is acceptance. Some of your moms or aunts voted for Trump. And some of our dads have sexually assaulted over 50 women in the last 40 years. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone, ya know?

Ironically, it was a Black comedian who blew the cover off the charade a few years ago, leading us to where we are today. It wasnt enough that women said he did it, a guy had to come along and expose it for us to google “bill cosby rape” and be astounded by the pages and pages of results. but now we’re all with her…hers…them. Its a precarious position to be in, as no one who comes to the defense of someone who has done wrong, is trying to excuse the act, or silence the victims.


But Bill Cosby doesn’t need our defense, or our help any longer. Hes made millions of dollars and to this day, millions of fans from his stand-up routine. Yet, as his public relations team attempts the impossible task of drumming up public sympathy, its actually him who owes US. No, our dad didnt go out for a cigarette and never come back. He went out and blamed Black people for the effects of systemic and systematic racism. He told young Black men to pull up our pants so we would be respected, but has said nothing about Philando Castile being shot in front of his daughter and girlfriend. He told single mothers it was THEIR fault for poverty because of what they named their children. We bought the Coca-Cola, we danced to the intro music, and we even bought the jell-o as he became the most popular spokespersons in the 80’s and 90’s. But now, it is him who owes us. Not another comedy special, not another scholarship, and another damn Cosby spin-off. I dont have all the answers, but instead of “hey, hey, hey” a good start would be “Im sorry”

Our TV dad may never be able to come home, but with a simple apology, we can at the very least start to rebuild the broken house that Heathcliffe Huxtable built.